Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet jury I present to you a case. I, by the end of this blog, will convince you that not only is alcohol awesome it also makes you awesome.
When you drink Alcohol, no matter what your poison, several things happen. Your intelligence increases, your sex appeal increases, your general ambiance increases. In short Alcohol makes you better. Alcohol helps ugly people get laid. True fact, believe me I kept my ex drunk for years! When you drink your standards lower and thus you will go for the guy/girl who 4 drinks ago had hairy earlobes... Now they seems sexier for some reason, By sleeping with hairy ears person you increase their self confidence and decrease suicide numbers!! By Getting drunk and sleeping with ugly poeple you are making the world a better place!
Booze makes you say things you normally wouldn't say. Normally certain things and words are off limits when you are sober. But when you've had a few drinky-poos you can put that bitch right in her/his place! For example I saw this happen yesterday at spring in the valley... There was this guy in a incredibly good looking suit. Lets Call him Maniel Dakin. A little worse for wear he was walking back to his bus after going to the Mash brewery (BTW don't go there it cost me $10 to get in and the beer was $10 for a stubby and it tasted like shit.) And a girl in short shorts was out the front on her phone, clearly fucked, she cries out to this handsome suit wearer "Why you wearing a suit?" And started laughing. Now the brave suit wearer turned and obviously without thinking said "Why are you a whore?" and walked away.
See by drinking, Maniel put the dopey whore back in her place. Without drinking she would still be under the impression that she wasn't a raging cockbucket. Another service to society thanks to alcohol.
Alcohol makes people attempt things they wouldn't normally attempt, for example there was a guy at this party on the weekend...Let's call him James Palm. Now jimmy normally is a slightly rythmic man not too much but not alot but when he was drunk he danced like a fucked mule with ice skates for hooves! Providing laugher and merryment for all involved.
You see alcolhol is the social lubricant that makes everyone equal. From the richest to the poorest from the handsome to the Sam. Alcohol equals fun.
Ladies please take notice. get drunk and go wild with guys who you normally wouldn't. You could save their lives.
-Makin-
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