Alcohol makes you better-er.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet jury I present to you a case. I, by the end of this blog, will convince you that not only is alcohol awesome it also makes you awesome.

When you drink Alcohol, no matter what your poison, several things happen. Your intelligence increases, your sex appeal increases, your general ambiance increases. In short Alcohol makes you better. Alcohol helps ugly people get laid. True fact, believe me I kept my ex drunk for years! When you drink your standards lower and thus you will go for the guy/girl who 4 drinks ago had hairy earlobes... Now they seems sexier for some reason, By sleeping with hairy ears person you increase their self confidence and decrease suicide numbers!! By Getting drunk and sleeping with ugly poeple you are making the world a better place!

Booze makes you say things you normally wouldn't say. Normally certain things and words are off limits when you are sober. But when you've had a few drinky-poos you can put that bitch right in her/his place! For example I saw this happen yesterday at spring in the valley... There was this guy in a incredibly good looking suit. Lets Call him Maniel Dakin. A little worse for wear he was walking back to his bus after going to the Mash brewery (BTW don't go there it cost me $10 to get in and the beer was $10 for a stubby and it tasted like shit.) And a girl in short shorts was out the front on her phone, clearly fucked, she cries out to this handsome suit wearer "Why you wearing a suit?" And started laughing. Now the brave suit wearer turned and obviously without thinking said "Why are you a whore?" and walked away.

See by drinking, Maniel put the dopey whore back in her place. Without drinking she would still be under the impression that she wasn't a raging cockbucket. Another service to society thanks to alcohol.

Alcohol makes people attempt things they wouldn't normally attempt, for example there was a guy at this party on the weekend...Let's call him James Palm. Now jimmy normally is a slightly rythmic man not too much but not alot but when he was drunk he danced like a fucked mule with ice skates for hooves! Providing laugher and merryment for all involved.

You see alcolhol is the social lubricant that makes everyone equal. From the richest to the poorest from the handsome to the Sam. Alcohol equals fun.

Ladies please take notice. get drunk and go wild with guys who you normally wouldn't. You could save their lives.


-Makin-

Ch..ch..changes

Ever had one of those days when you go to work feeling one way and come home feeling completely different?

I've just had one of those days. For no reason. I went to work in my usual self pity and self-loathing state of mind and I walked home with a smile and song in my heart... I SKIPPED! Literally skipped home. Pathetic... And yet I'm still happy. For no reason at all.

Nothing has changed. The world still spins on it's normal axis and life continues, but yet the world seems brighter. Water colder and crisper, Sun Shiner... My god I've moved into a musical.

I even played a bad game of netball tonight, well not bad by everyone else's standards but by mine it was terrible... *sigh* I'm happy about everything at the moment and I'm not even high.

Happiness is overrated.

-Makin-

Oktoberfest... Awesome or not?

Firstly and before I go onto say anyting else I'd just like to tell my friend Sam to suck a dick.

Now when I say this is totally going in my blog, I have somewhere to put it.

Now that is out of the way we can begin

Sunday October 5 2008. Oktoberfest at the Paddo. $30 got you in, a stein and a free hot dog. Sounds good right? Wrong. Firstly. Lots of dudes. Secondly they stopped filling up steins at 4:15 and it was supposed to end at 5:00. Thirdly they stopped serving booze altogether! Now that is just dumb. Why the fuck would you go to the pub for Oktoberfest and stop serving alcohol? Are you fucking Moron? It doesn't take a genius to firgure out that this is going to cause fights. And it did. I saw 3 guys being taken away in a paddy van. (BTW totally sang the paddy van song, still funny)

Now onto the women part. Oktoberfest right you thing of drunk women in little outfits dancing around and talking to guys? Nope. Don't get me wrong some did just that and they looked and were great, some even posed for photos with me and I loved it. But my major issue was with the girls who think that life is hard for them because they are pretty, you know the ones in their little tops that show far too much cleavage, tiny skirts so small you can almost see their flaps...And yet if you smile at them just because it's Oktoberfest and you are supposed to be having fun you get the eye roll and a "I can't belive he would even look at me" face. And yeah they are pretty but you know what? Looks fade but you'll be a bitch forever.

Now here is why Oktober fest was good. I went with quite a few mates, we got there early and hit the booze right away. I was still feeling pretty seedy from the night before but unlike Alex I'm a real man. We got drunk. But not like some guys who tried smashing each other in the face with their glass drunk... Just friendly happy Oktoberfest drunk. We danced we laughed we got photos with chicks dressed a beer wenches and walk a freaking mile and a half to get home again. Totally fucking fun. Massive props to Dyls and Smalls a) for organising shit and b) for you both getting smashed... Good times ladies...

Now as a newly single guy finding his way around the single life sometimes it is hard to find someone, so this blog is what is happening in those terms. If you've got any thoughts or advice feel free to hit me up

Prost!!
Makin